where does the pee come out of this thing
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
