I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
