Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
