Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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