it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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