i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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