She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So much rum. So many feels.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
