remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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