yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
