dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This is the high leading the old right now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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