I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
