i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
