I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish i was in the wii world.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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