i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
