hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
