Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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