just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just cropdusted the office
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
