I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
