So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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