YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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