i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
