so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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