Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
