Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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