I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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