Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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