We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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