I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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