Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
