The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
