Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
