Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
