I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
