cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
