we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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