u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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