ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
