dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
