i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize