Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
