how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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