Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
