idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
