maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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