3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
