Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
