the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
