you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
