whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
