i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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