can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
